|[fic] Honey My Love So Sweet, Naruse/Omi??, Humor, G (1/?)
||[Jun. 21st, 2006|05:58 am]
lyntek. i just tried to expound on it a bit, but the crack is WHOLLY HERS, yo.based on an idea by |
title came from a local rendition of "Itoshi no Elly" by the Japanese group Southern All-Stars. i'll upload mp3s later.
Honey My Love So Sweet
Among the more discreet juniors and seniors, Naruse Yukihiko was known as "the amorous freshman." Among the ones who have been victims of his infamous "honey" attacks, he was known as "the obnoxious self-involved delusional aaaahgethimoffgethimoff."
There were exceptions to the rule, of course, and Iwai Takuto was among them. Somehow, the amorous freshman's affections for the quiet artist faded off without a sound, unlike the noisy brawls that were typical of a "breakup."
"I highly suspect Shinomiya was involved," first-year Shichijou Omi remarked once, over tea. "He likes to resolve arguments quietly. Moreover, he's far more confrontational than Iwai."
"Well, someone intervened, that's certain," equally first-year Saionji Kaoru sniffed. "You can tell by the pining looks he gave Iwai for a few days. Shinomiya is the most likely culprit."
Omi's smile grew even wider. "Perhaps Naruse-kun should have known better than to court Shinomiya's charge?"
"Oh for heaven's sake. I bet he got interested in Iwai because he was Shinomiya's in the first place." At Kaoru's gesture, Omi poured more tea into his cup, the serene youthful smile never fading from his face.
"So you've noticed too?" Omi asked cheerfully. "Naruse tends to pick boys who are already 'paired up' with other boys. It seems his main criterion for choosing his 'honey' is mainly the challenge posed by stealing him away."
"Hm, but it's not just that in Iwai's case," Kaoru mused aloud. "I heard that he'd told the entire school that he fell in love with Iwai Takuto the moment he saw Iwai painting his portrait." He grimaced a bit. "Now you'd have to ask: what did Naruse, the narcissist, fall in love with, exactly? The painter, the act of painting, or the fact that he was the subject of the painting? I'm willing to wager he also wanted Iwai so he could have a 'honey' who painted a lot of portraits of him."
Omi chuckled. "Oh yes... poor Iwai. Naruse caused him a lot of trouble. Where would he be if Shinomiya hadn't intervened, I wonder... "
"Probably still trying to shrink away to nothing whenever Naruse tried to feed him." Kaoru rested his chin on one hand, leaned back against his sofa chair. "Who's Naruse's new target? Has anyone found out?"
"Not yet... it seems he's still making up his mind." Omi refreshed his own teacup, adding in three lumps of sugar. When he looked up again, he seemed to be smiling in a distinctly more playful fashion. "You know, Kaoru..."
"I wouldn't be surprised if it was you."
"WHAT?!" Kaoru straightened up in his seat, almost spilling his drink.
"Considering his record for falling for one of a pair..."
"You can't be serious!"
"And we cannot ignore the fact that you are one of the most admired boys in school." Omi was clearly enjoying this. "If he wants to be seen in public with a truly impressive 'honey' - "
"Stop," Kaoru held up a hand, and as if automatic, Omi stopped speaking, and started seeming like he was fighting a laugh from escaping. "You will refrain from joking like that. That - that is obscene."
"All right, Kaoru," Omi said, bowing his head slightly. But it was a very real possibility, what he had just said, and he knew Kaoru had already thought of it. After all, that was precisely why Kaoru recently bought that can of pepper spray.
All things considered, Omi liked Naruse, if only because he was amusing. Omi treated his many 'honey' hunts as a sort of spectator sport, one where he got to sit at a safe distance, relax, watch, and root for whichever player caught his fancy.
Sometimes, he even rooted for Naruse. But that was only when Naruse was feeling down about his 'honey' escaping him, and Omi was feeling sadistic.
Kaoru didn't like him much, and that would make it so much more tragic if Omi's calculations were correct and Naruse would target Kaoru next. As much as he would hate seeing his best friend aggravated, Omi looked forward to being entertained by the interaction.
"HONEY~!" came the familiar bellow, very early in the morning. It seemed to be coming from behind Omi and Kaoru, as they walked from the boys' dorm to the study hall together.
"Is that him, and is he coming this way," Kaoru asked through gritted teeth.
"I'm afraid so," Omi whispered. He looked back over his shoulder and yes - the crop of wavy blond hair was shooting toward them at supersonic speed. Kaoru's hand slid into his pocket, where he hid the pepper spray that might potentially save his sanity and reputation...
"There you are, Honey!! I was looking for you all morning!"
And to the surprise of the entire school, it seemed, the crop of blond hair latched securely onto Omi's arm.
It seemed like time stopped. Everyone in the area ceased to walk, ceased to breathe, ceased to everything and stared.
At the freshman spitfire clinging to another befuddled freshman like a lovelorn girl, though they were almost the same height (spitfire was even taller by a few centimeters).
"Let's have lunch today, okay~?" he said loudly enough for everyone's benefit. "I made you a huge meal from the bottom of my heart! I also made extra sweet chocolate eclairs, since I know you like them!" That wasn't such a stretch, in fact, since Omi's sweet tooth was a modern dorm legend.
Kaoru was at a loss for words. He would have sputtered if he was the type to sputter, but instead he came up with the vastly more dignified:
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OMI. NOW."
Naruse stared at Kaoru for a bit as if he didn't recognize one of the most popular freshmen in BL Academy, in fact the only one who'd gotten a perfect score in the entrance exam. Then he stuck his tongue out like the kid that he was. "Not a chance. He's my Honey. And we're spending the rest of the day together. Aren't we, Honey?"
Omi snapped out of his daze, and the first thing he said was, "...Did you say extra sweet chocolate eclairs?"
And as Naruse dragged Omi off, obliviously chattering about how much effort he had put into making the eclairs, how he'd scrounged up only the BEST ingredients and did he know chocolate was an aphrodisiac? etc etc, Kaoru stood alone in the middle of the road, shaken, unable to believe what he had just witnessed. His fingers loosened their death grip on the pepper spray in his pocket.
...OMI was Naruse's next Honey??
(end of part 1)