|[fic] Honey My Love So Sweet, Naruse/Omi??, Humor, G (4/?)
||[Jun. 21st, 2006|11:58 pm]
Honey My Love So Sweet
The word "Honey~!" had become a sort of alarm for Kaoru. When he heard it in his vicinity, he learned how to steel himself and stand his ground, and to tell Naruse firmly and effectively: "Your Honey is busy. Come back later."
For the sake of his friendship with Omi, who had actually said he liked Naruse, Kaoru withdrew from his admittedly very shallow patience bank and attempted not to tell Naruse off in a tone that was too hostile. As Omi had said, Naruse "desisted" when asked nicely.
"Honey's always busy when I talk to you." The tall blond youth had the audacity to pout. All right, it was a cute pout, and it probably helped in getting him Honeys (much like blackmail and utter bullheadedness) but Kaoru was unimpressed. He was confident he could pout even more cutely, he just didn't want to. "Saionji-san, come on... you're giving my Honey work even on a weekend? And I just got back from a junior tennis tournament in Auckland - "
"He took on the work himself, there's nothing I can do about it." Kaoru lacked Omi's politeness and subtlety. He just wanted Naruse gone from his face as soon as possible. "Listen... he'll get in touch with you as soon as he's available, all right? The Treasury just really needs him right now."
Naruse looked at him sidelong. Kaoru could tell Naruse didn't like him very much, but at least he wasn't as offensive and in-your-face as that oaf who was President of the student council, and therefore Kaoru found him tolerable.
(Actually, Kaoru would normally not be answering the door like this. But Naruse doggedly pursuing Omi as his newest "Honey" was a special case.)
"All right. Well, later then," Naruse said, disappointment clear in his voice and face. Kaoru quickly shut the door on the normally-upbeat-but-now-completely-dejected boy, before he could actually start feeling guilty.
"Thank you," Omi said, from his seat at the Treasury's main computer. He unfailingly remembered to thank Kaoru whenever Operation: Anti-Honey turned out to be a success.
"It's not a problem," Kaoru assured him. After all, it wasn't even a lie that the Treasury has needed Omi a great deal recently, for several important software upgrades and tests. "Would you like some tea?"
Omi started to protest. Then he clamped his lips tightly shut. Another important corollary of their agreed-upon Anti-Honey campaign was that Kaoru was going to start taking care of Omi, not the other way around.
(Kaoru didn't say exactly WHY this was an important corollary, but Omi knew his friend well enough to know that he had a good reason for everything.)
In the case of the drinks they shared, Omi was usually the one who made them. The last time Kaoru made any drink for Omi was when they were hacking into the BL Academy's server as fresh middle school graduates. So understandably, having another drink made for him by his capricious friend made him feel not only awkward, but also slightly nervous. Kaoru had a tendency to burn water.
"Well... tea would be nice," Omi replied. It was a direct order from his friend: Kaoru was going to take care of him, and he was to sit there and take it like a man.
A moment later, Kaoru came back into the room with their usual silver tray, upon which were their usual porcelain teapot and teacups. It seemed like the tea-making project proceeded without incident. He handed one cup to Omi.
"There you go," he said, almost proudly. "Three lumps of sugar, as usual."
Omi stared for a moment at the cup in his hands. The liquid inside was a rich golden color.
"Ah," Kaoru exclaimed, "that's right - you put milk in your tea, don't you?" He placed his hands on his hips and sighed irritably. "I knew I forgot something..."
Omi smiled up at Kaoru brightly. "Yes, but honestly, this is all right..."
"No! I said I was going to attend to you, and I'm going to do it right." Kaoru set himself down on the sofa chair nearest the tea tray and crossed his legs. "You'll have your tea the way you like it. Now head over to the pantry and fetch the milk."
After the long, pregnant pause, Omi stood and said "All right, well I'll just - "
"Stay right there," Kaoru said quickly. In a flash he was standing again and heading out of the room.
Omi stayed half-standing, holding on to the backrest of his chair, looking at the door Kaoru had just gone through, smiling fondly.
It was a while before he sat back down, chuckling softly to himself and shaking his head.
Taking care of Omi didn't turn out to be as easy a task as Kaoru had convinced himself it would be. Besides the fact that Omi interjected "Are you sure? I can do it myself" into every attempt, efficiently annoying him in the process, it turned out Kaoru needed a physical prompt before he realized at any given moment that he needed to do something. Like answer the official Treasury phone.
When Omi was in the room, his instinct was to expect that Omi would perform all the trivial tasks. So the phone would ring five times, and it wouldn't even occur to him that he had to pick it up and answer. He would probably realize it if Omi turned to him with an expectant look. And even if that happened, the hint would probably slide right by.
Omi would say "I'll get it," and Kaoru would say "No, I will" and rushed to actually "get it" before Omi did... which was in itself no easy chore. More than once, Kaoru tripped over things in his rush.
Something told him he was never getting the hang of this.
He picked up the phone. The caller ID said it was the Chairman of the Board. "Yes, Mr. Chairman," he greeted, with the customary formality.
"...Saionji-kun? Why are you answering the phone? Where's Shichijou-kun?"
Kaoru sighed. Omi was still looking at him worriedly. He waved off Omi's concern, and Omi obediently returned to fiddling with the school server. "He's here, Mr. Chairman. He's just busy with the firewall upgrades. How may we help you?"
"Actually, I wanted to talk to Shichijou-kun. I was wondering if anyone has alerted him to the latest stunt pulled by this young man in your year level, whom I believe is named Naruse Yukihiko..."
After a confused pause, Kaoru asked, "Which stunt, Mr. Chairman?"
"Well... the one you can both see from your window, I believe..."
Kaoru excused himself and put down the phone without hanging up. "Omi," he called. Both friends looked out the Treasury office's window at the same time to see:
A blimp. A mighty huge blimp. Flying low over BL Academy's athletic grounds. From its tail-end streamed a mass of colorful ribbons, so it was impossible to miss even if one was in a habit of missing blimps floating right before one's face. And on its side:
Yuki <3 Omi
I LOVE YOU HONEY
...written in big bold English, for all the world to see.
Kaoru touched the thick, clear glass that separated him from the monstrosity over the game fields. If the glass wasn't there, and if the Treasury was located somewhere closer to the ground, he would have jumped out without a second thought, taken the nearest gun and shot the blimp himself, for such was the stupidity of the gesture and the speed at which it brought his blood to boil.
Omi, however, was on the verge of panic. He put the Chairman on speakerphone.
"Mr. Chairman," he said, fighting to keep his normally calm voice from fluctuating, "I was not aware that Naruse-kun would resort to such activities, please accept my sincerest apologies..."
"Oh, no apologies necessary, Shichijou-kun," the phone said, with absolutely no sense of alarm. "It's the weekend and I'm sure the student body and faculty alike welcomed the diversion. However, I'm concerned that this will pose some problems for you and Naruse-kun regarding permits to operate within campus property. I would like to discuss potential issues with you both. So may I ask you to kindly locate Naruse-kun, and report to my office posthaste?"
At that instant, a voice came in through megaphone, from what seemed to be the sky above the game fields. "HONEYYYY~! Look at this! I got it made for us, isn't it wonderful??"
"I'm attending to it, Mr. Chairman," Omi said by way of goodbye, and he switched off the speakerphone.
He started to rush out of the room. Kaoru started to follow him. But at the door, Omi turned and faced him.
Omi laid his hands on Kaoru's shoulders. He looked into Kaoru's eyes solemnly.
"I'll deal with this, Kaoru," he said softly, with a reassuring smile. "It shouldn't have come to this. Now it's up to me to fix it."
"But Omi - "
Omi laid a finger to his lips. This was his way of saying he was going to take care of everything.
Then he left, and Kaoru was left standing, waiting for what was going to happen.
Yet again, Omi left his side, and Kaoru felt completely powerless to stop it... and yet again, he would not admit it to himself. No matter what, he wasn't going to turn and see that ridiculous blimp glowering at him.
(end of part 4)